What We Did For Isaac- 2010

Well, we are still in the process of finishing up our goals for Isaac's birthday, but I thought I would post what we have been doing.

Yesterday morning, I awoke at 5:45 am to the sound of a mourning dove outside our window. I think this was more than a coincidence because mourning doves have a special significance to my family, and because Isaac was born at 5:50 am. So I was awake at the very same time my sweet little boy made his earthly debut. At 5:50, I sang "Happy Birthday" to him.

I then came down and read the many postings you, my friends and family, had written about your intentions to honor Isaac on his birthday while listening to Beethoven. We had listened to Beethoven in the hospital on the day Isaac was born, and also on the day that he passed away in my arms. I have always loved this music, but since Isaac returned to his Father in Heaven, it has been very hard for me to hear it. I then listened to Elizabeth Mitchell's recording of "You Are My Sunshine," our favorite song to sing to our little ray of sunshine. Then I played a few songs from Ziggy Marley's "Family Time," and Taj Mahal's "Don't You Push Me Down" because those were songs he liked to "dance" to.

We got ready for the day, and woke up our older son, William, so that he could go play with a friend while Tsooane and I went to the Temple. We were running late, so I packed some Cheerios for all of us to munch on in honor of Isaac's love of Cheerios. When we crossed the toll bridge on our way to the Temple, we gave $5 instead of one and asked that we could pay for the next 4 cars to cross the bridge.

We spent 4 hours at the Temple, and it was a sweet experience. We rarely have anywhere near that amount of time to spend there. We were able to help, in a very small way, a couple who was there to do work for their family. Their enthusiasm and gratitude was amazing, and we were thrilled to have a tiny part in putting those huge smiles on their faces. Our broken hearts were very full.

My mom treated us to lunch, and as we were finishing a song came on that, I must confess, brought me to tears again. Last fall, Amazon had offered a free download of a song by a CMA-nominated artist, and I had chosen "I Just Call You Mine," by Martina McBride, because it reminded me of my children, especially Isaac. Particularly fitting are these words from the chorus:

Everyone that sees you
Always wants to know you
And everyone that knows you
Always has a smile.
You're a standing ovation
After years of waiting
For a chance to finally shine.
Everyone calls you amazing--
I just call you "mine."

As I tried to stop the tears from flowing, my mother gently reminded me that I do still get to call Isaac "mine," even if he is no longer here with me on this earth. After composing myself, we geared up for the next phase of our plans to spread sunshine. We went to the grocery store to pick up some items for a dinner we planned to make for 8 widowed or single women from Church, two of whom still have children at home. James 1:27 reads, "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." Our Isaac is completely pure, and radiated charity for others while he lived, so we felt this would be a way to reflect his goodness and love.

When we picked up our William, he had done his part to spread sunshine by being his own silly, clever self with his friends, and by miraculously managing to "stay dry" the whole time we were gone. :)

While the dinner was cooking, we again read some of the posts in honor of Isaac, and I found the information for another project we had planned. A few months back, I had read on www.jennifermcguireink.com about a project called "Cards for Kids" -- a drive to send homemade cards to critically ill children. There are currently 10 children on the list, so William and I set out to make 10 cards. WELL.... let's just say we are still in the process of completing this goal. William thought it was more important to start out by making cards for South Dakota and Utah... sigh. Today he seems more excited about creating something for actual children! :)

The grocery store hadn't had all the components of our meal, so my mom ran to another store to get the remaining items. I printed out pictures of Isaac in his high chair, and stamped "SMILE" in the corner. On the back, I wrote "Please enjoy in honor of our Isaac. Love, The Molapos" and attached them to the meals.

Initially, we had planned to take William with us to deliver these meals, but he was just worn out from his fun playdate. We fed him dinner, and my Mom had brought an angel food cake for Isaac's birthday. We put a candle in it, and as a family, sang to Isaac. Then Tsooane and I loaded up the car and went off to deliver the meals.

We were excited to find 7 of the 8 "sisters" at home-- this is especially noteworthy, because we hadn't called ANY of them to see if they would be there. We took a minute, or a few, at each home and explained that it was Isaac's birthday and that we wanted to make them smile, because Isaac always loved to make others smile. Some of these women remember Isaac very well, and know just how true that is!

When we got home, William was in bed, but waiting for me. I read with him, and talked to him. Shortly before he fell asleep, I sang some of the Primary birthday songs for Isaac. William didn't want to participate, but I soon heard him singing "Happy Birthday, Dear Isaac" softly, almost to himself.

Then Tsooane and I finally ate our dinner and cake. I ate my strawberry ice cream, and had some Coca-Cola, and we tried to wind down from our whirlwind day.

You may notice that we didn't make it to the cemetery yesterday-- sadly, there was just not time for the 4 hour round-trip, but we WILL go tomorrow and bring him some flowers. I guess then we will "report back" to him about all the joy that was spread yesterday in his honor. There are at least a dozen other things I wanted to accomplish on his birthday, but I guess that will just serve as our motivation to continue spreading Isaac's joy in the days to come.

Isaac's birthday was still a difficult day for us-- we missed his presence so very intensely, it is hard to describe. But deciding to use his memory as a motivator to help others, added a measure of happiness where there would have only been pain. We have decided that we will honor Isaac through love and service every year, and hope that all those who were touched to help someone this year will join us in spreading sunshine for Isaac next year, too. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts, and pray that the Lord will bless you for your efforts.

In Honor of Isaac's Birthday (May 10th)

My heart has been particularly tender these past few days, and as it gets closer to Isaac's birthday (May 10th), my emotions grow more bittersweet and poignant. How grateful I am to be his mother, and to have had such a sweet, precious child in my home-- albeit for far too short a time. But how my heart aches to have him here with me to celebrate his first birthday, and every birthday after!

I have been contemplating how best to celebrate his birth, and I don't have it all totally figured out yet. I know I'll start the day eating Cheerios, because Isaac LOVED Cheerios. I know that my husband and I will spend part of the day in the Temple, because there we feel peace and comfort from our Father in Heaven. Isaac LOVED music, so I know I will listen to some songs he liked.

He also LOVED to eat, but since he mostly only nursed, I'm not sure what his favorite food would be. I know when I was pregnant for him, my biggest cravings were strawberry ice cream and Coca-Cola (gasp! Please don't judge me!), so I will likely have some in tribute to him. We'll have a cake and sing him "Happy Birthday," in the hopes that maybe somehow he'll hear us all the way in Heaven. I dearly hope we will be able to make the 90-minute drive to the cemetery to take him some flowers.

These are all small things, and I want to do more. I have thought a lot about the kind of boy Isaac is, and the joy and love that just radiated from his chubby little body. He had the most beautiful smile, and he shared it so freely, in turn making everyone around him smile. I think he just brought smiles and sunshine with him wherever he went. So, in honor of him, I want to do something to make someone else smile and feel loved, just as he did for me.

This is not entirely my idea alone. I have been reading the blog of another mother whose young daughter died tragically in an accident, and who is very inspiring to me. In honor of her sweet daughter, Camille, she asked others to do something kind for someone else on Cami's birthday (which, coincidentally, also happens to be my birthday). And so, I encourage all of you, anyone who ever met Isaac, or who simply read about him or saw his photo and loved him, to do the same.

On Monday, go out of your way to make someone happy. Do something compassionate and loving. Help someone else feel better, even for a brief moment. Think of my dearest little Isaac, and the joy he would have spread each day had he lived longer. And try to scatter some sunshine of your own, in honor of him. Then, if you don't mind, please let us know what you did. It would mean a lot to me, and I think it would also mean a great deal to him.